Courageous Parenting - Larry R. Lawrence

  Children grow up and as they do, parents are given hind sight.  As grandparents it is a perspective that allows recognition of good decisions made, counsel followed and gratitude for those results seen in the lives of new families being created and taught.  "The saddest words of tongue or pen are those four words; it might have been."  This truth also comes to us when we look back and wonder which attitude, action or inaction might have brought suffering or unhappiness into the life of a child.  Brother Lawrence here sets out some of the dangers that may be avoided by specific parental guidance.  Guidance given to "get her off the tracks..." of an oncoming train so to speak.

• Parenting is not a popularity contest
• Husbands and Wives must be united when making parenting decisions and decisions must be guided by the Spirit - refer to the letter from a heart broken mother regarding her son
• When morality is involved, we have the right and obligation to raise a warning
• Nothing really good happens late at night
• Regarding sleepovers, respond to that warning voice inside
• Five fundamentals: 1-Family Prayer, 2-Family Scripture Study, 3-Family Home Evening, 4-Family Dinner Together, 5-Regular One-on-one Interviews
• Counseling requires courage

  We live ever changing lives and parents have their own challenges while they are raising the children so I will add that you must have patience and never, ever give up.

Receive the Holy Ghost - David A. Bednar

  A convert probably has no more nor less understanding of this gift than the eight year old receiving it from the hands of his or her father.  It is only by following the admonitions of the sacrament prayers and then sincerely desiring this gift that we become ready to "receive" it as the confirmation prayer is said.  Then it is not just there, we have to appropriately invite the Spirit into our life.  The Spirit however, only comes in response to the request when we faithfully obey the commandments.
  The distractions of the world in our lives keep us from this simple path.  We are surrounded each day by a myriad of thoughts introduced by our environment, so remembering this path must become part of us every day and making new approaches to being ready to hear the Spirit.
  One day, knocking on doors (we usually clapped at the gate) Elder Stewart and I were tired and it was almost lunch time.  "Let's go down to the end of this short street before we quit." I said, feeling the influence as a result of fasting and a specific prayer that morning.  
  "Oh, please come in;" exclaimed a smiling, welcoming Zulmira and her daughter.  "We have been expecting you." We entered and taught the lessons to her and her daughter.  They were prepared.  They already seemed to know the things we were teaching.  About ten days later, after their baptism and visiting in their home she said; "I want to show you something."  She went into the next room and came back with a copy of the Book of Mormon.  "Two women missionaries left this with us years ago and we read it.  They never came back."
  I have begun reading To the Rescue about the life of Thomas S. Monson.  Rob recommend it to us.  It is all about following the guidance of the Spirit.  Some learn this early, some of us later, but we all must learn it to know in this life the truth of our brother Jesus Christ and then when and how we should act as a result of that witness.

The Priesthood of Aaron - L. Tom Perry

  This is the talk that I believe Elder Perry wanted to give to the Priesthood Meeting on Saturday.  I called to my mind the older generation, the times, choices, activities, challenges, disappointments and winnings of those years of youth.  Now I am reminded that I conferred this Priesthood of Aaron upon each of my four sons at their appropriate time and I believe that each one would say that overall it has made a difference.  Shirlyn is however, the person who directed their feet to the Eagle Scout badge mentioned here also.
  Now I look at this next generation of eight new warriors who will sooner than you know be candidates for this preparatory priesthood with its three offices of responsibility.  They will reach that age of 12 when the latter-day prophets have determined is the appropriate time.  They will follow in this order:

• Max
• Justin
• Gavin
• Brady
• Timothy J.
• Austin
• Levi
• Royce

  At that time the world will not be any better or safer for them to begin but it will have the same direction of good parents and teachers showing the way.  The commandments will be explained.  The decisions will become such that mistakes will be made.  The gifts of faith and repentance will begin to have place in each day and parents will have less presence during hours away from the safety of home.  In each day these warriors will need to confront alone the dangers that are presented in our world.  Therefore, I will say to them as they prepare for this time, what Elder Perry told his grandson Terry:

1. Keep your body healthy and clean
2. Develop your mind and become wise
3. Be strong and resist temptation in a world filled with it
4. Trust in the Lord, especially when you need His protection

  This advice was based on the story of Daniel in the Old Testament.  Referring to this story and the many others in the scriptures he counseled:  "These stories in the scriptures will never grow old.  They will be just as exciting for you when you're reading them as a deacon, a teacher, a priest, a missionary, a home teacher, an elders quorum president, or whatever the Lord calls on you to do.  They will teach you to have faith, courage, love for your fellowman, confidence, and trust in the Lord."
  As I watch this priesthood in action in this far away land, I see the same reverence and power here as the young men prepare and pass the sacrament.  The same attitudes that Elder Perry explained in this talk.  Even though the meetings here are not part of a stake or ward like the ones your young men are part of, the priesthood is the same.  They are being taught here by men with testimonies and challenged as you will be to live as the Lord has patterned for you.
  And then his challenge for you as parents who may be reading this summary; "Parents of these magnificent young men and women, we charge you with the sacred responsibility of teaching your children the doctrines of the holy priesthood.  Your children must learn at an early age of the blessing of having the Lord's eternal priesthood and what they must do individually to qualify for these blessings."
  We know, as grandparents of these eight young warriors that the preparation is being done and we thank you.  Our prayers are alive with this hope and blessing.

The Divine Gift of Gratitude - Thomas S. Monson

  "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all the others." (Cicero)  Now you won't find this quotation in President Monson's talk, but if you are taking the time to read the conference talks you are also given the references which are often very informative in and of themselves.  There are several in this discourse that indicate the kind of books that the Prophet reads or is given.  Check out #12 from which his quote was taken.  It is from a very recent collection of quotations Change Your Life by Allen Klein and from which the quotation above was taken.  What a great resource for all of us who speak, teach or inspire.  
  Today in our sacrament meeting, Gabriel, a 17 year old here gave a talk.  It was based on this very conference talk which I had just read this morning.  A blessing because I was able to discuss the scripture reference in Luke afterward with him.  I was then able to express my gratitude that the inspiration to use this talk in his very mature presentation was a blessing to me.
   As I pondered the Luke 17 story of the 10 Lepers, I could see that the percentages here in Ipatinga are about the same as the activity in the church here.  About one in ten members attend church in spite of the great work that has been done by the Lord sending all those past missionaries here to give them the gift of the Gospel and of the Holy Ghost.  In this case, how will the Lord know that they are "grateful?"
  We are warned here that "the loss of loved ones almost inevitably brings some regrets to our hearts.  Let's minimize such feelings as much as humanly possible by frequently expressing our love and gratitude to them.  We never know how soon it will be too late."  
  Once again it will take effort on our part to reach the level he has taught; "... at least until we have truly learned and cultivated an attitude of gratitude."  Intentions don't work here as he quotes "feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." (see reference #12)
  I am grateful for this Blog which has really been a help in keeping my commitment to read all the talks this year.  I am grateful for my family members, every one of you.  I thank those of you who have commented on this effort, especially Shirlyn who hasn't missed a one.  

Two Lines of Communication - Dallin H. Oaks

  This is such a great example of the real need for the Church and its Prophets, Seers and Revelators.  To separate the two lines of communication makes it so clear.  Most members of our family are daily influenced by our Personal Line of communication.  When we are obedient and partakers of the sacrament that line is greatly enhanced, giving daily help in understanding our life and our family.  In several talks this conference, the worthy, regular partaking of the sacrament has been emphasized, therefore it is important that we participate, ponder and thereby access our Personal Line during each day.  
  The Priesthood Line is of importance also, to be able to provide service, teaching and organization to benefit and lift the members of the Church.  Without the influence of this line, we become self centered and left on our own and the use of the Personal Line is turned into our wisdom leaving the door open to error and reliance upon worldly philosophy.
  My own example I state like this:
    Many people and religious organizations build a "fenced area" and put God and Religion outside of that fence while they build their world inside free from having to expand their understanding.  One Church has claimed that revelation from God ceased with Christ and is no longer necessary, thereby putting revelation outside their fence.  This lets them label those who claim or seek revelation as outsiders.  Inside their fence they can allow behaviors specifically forbidden by the most basic of the commandments of God by rationalizing the OK'ness of their own deviations.
    I prefer to make my fence a place where I can place philosophies, deviations from commandments, decisions outside the statements of our leaders, habits that deter personal spiritual progress and even the influence of people who practice or espouse such things.  Once inside this fence, my efforts are to always choose to keep these things inside that fence, giving me the greatest freedom outside of it.  In this example I like to think of the "fence posts" as the foundational principles we have been given by the Prophets.
  It gives me great comfort to understand and use these two great lines, especially now on this mission full of difficult challenges but great opportunities.  We see the hand of God working here every day in some way and for that Shirlyn and I are most grateful.  We also on this Christmas day are so grateful for every member of our family and your support.

Be an Example of the Believers - Mary N. Cook

  The sixth word in this talk is Ruby.  A few days later and along came our Ruby. Her Grandmother was not there to make those thoughtful observations but I know hers would be the same.  "Oh, we have to teach Ruby how to be a virtuous woman, pure and priceless as her name implies."  I know that this Ruby's Mom, Amy has already begun and I know she started on that very day also.
  The two "assignments" we have from the Lord regarding these precious spirits that Sister Cook focuses on are Faith and Purity, the two principles required for salvation.  The teachings will happen in the home but as she reiterated, our example is paramount if a parent is to influence those many little choices that set the foot of a child on the path with the Iron Rod.  All of us make many mistakes throughout our lives. But parents have the opportunity to help keep the mistakes within the bounds of repentance for those children.
  All seven of our children are parents now.  What a blessing you each have to set the example of faith in your lives.  Joseph Smith's mother, Lucy "also solved family problems by privately seeking the Lord's help through prayer.  One day, experiencing discord in her family regarding the subject of religion, Lucy said she "retired to a grove of handsome wild cherry trees not far distant and prayed to the Lord."  Could that example have something to do with what Joseph later did in the Sacred Grove?  Do you have a grove or grove substitute nearby?
  "Next, be an example of the believers in purity."  Some suggestions:

• Use the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet in your family.
• Give your message with clarity that the Spirit will confirm your message.
• Model what is virtuous and lovely.
• Help your children identify examples of the believers they can trust and emulate.
• Start today.

  It is my prayer that all of us will be those examples that little Ruby will need one day soon.  She has a wonderful start in her home.

The Holy Ghost and Revelation - Jay E. Jensen

  We all find our own way to the faith and actions that lead to the witness given by the Holy Ghost.  In this case, it was during his mission in San Antonio about the same time I was serving in Brasil.  In my case, the first memory of that was in Roanoke, Virginia when I was seven years old.  In both cases it had to do with one of the "four essential cornerstones of the Church."  For Elder Jensen it was the quest to know (receive the revelation) through the Gift of the Holy Ghost.  For me it was the Joseph Smith First Vision and memorizing and presenting those five verses.  The Spirit will give that assurance about truth whenever the door is opened to receive it.  That is a revelation.
  We all have this swarm of bees darting around in our heads every minute and it is hard for that still small voice to make itself heard.  We have to divert the bees for awhile and open ourselves in heart and mind to recognize when the Spirit is attempting communication.   Step away from the beehive and ask the important questions.  Then listen.  When we feel the response, it is often not what we expect and we may not see the wisdom or purpose of it at the beginning or sometimes not in this life.  Be patient and watch for the confirmation of the source and the result.  Then acknowledge what is given and the blessing that you were given to be part of it.
  The four cornerstones:

1. The Book of Mormon
2. Joseph Smith's First Vision
3. The Restoration of the Priesthood
4. Our Testimony of Jesus Christ

  As a result of these foundation stones, we have our personal assignments.  We need revelation from time to time.  We are spiritual beings and that spirit resides now in a temporal home.  Our spirit is in there but we forget how it is connected.  Over 30 times in the Old Testament the phrase "... and he slept with his fathers..." referring to death as sleep occurs.  Explained, it means that the spirit left the body much as it does in deep sleep.  We don't understand this well or remember much but the spirit has no earthly barriers.  Revelation may come as visions or dreams.  "Pay attention to a significant dream," we are told.  Shirlyn has counseled to write down your dream as soon as you wake from it.  
  Other promptings or revelations and perhaps the most frequent involve another person or family.  Make the visit.  Call.  Email. Skype if possible.  Pleasant blessings will occur.  "Take away the Book of Mormon and the revelations, and where is our religion?"  (Joseph Smith)
  My testimony is firmly planted on the four cornerstones above.  I bear witness of this work and our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Cleansing the Inner Vessel - Boyd K. Packer

  Perhaps we see here in Ipatinga how absolute is Elder Packer's comment; "... a time when there is such confusion and such danger that our young people hardly know which way they can walk."  It is searingly hot here in the summer afternoons right now.  Humidity unknown in Arizona is here every day.  The people here dress accordingly.  Even the grown men, many of them are seen in public with no shirts.  The girls and some women wear spaghetti straps or no straps at all on their tops and the cloth shirt stops well above the navel.  The shorts or pants often appear sprayed on commencing below the navel.  Often this exposure reveals part of the tattoo.  Dress seems to be an invitation or an admission of erroneous and often deadly choice, not just to stay comfortable.
  Elder Packer quotes the "old saying" "The Lord is voting for me, and Lucifer is voting against me, but it is my vote that counts."  I have not a memory of this "old saying" and neither has Shirlyn so we felt much younger when we heard it.  It is true however.  We only have one real enemy in this life and we must use our vote strongly and often against him.
  We have heard however, the old saw "The devil made me do it."  "NOT SO!" We must not ever use that excuse for inappropriate choices.  We have the key to slow down and make informed and correct choices.
  He once again draws the clear line for us between the great blessings of correct use of the powers of procreation and the certain consequences of sinful behavior.  Where there is a problem in a life here, this talk bears reading again.
  I love the story he told about the kitten in the classroom.  "Is it a boy kitty or a girl kitty?"  "How can you tell?"  "You can vote on it!"  (Read this again in FHE.)  We see today the blatant "voting" to "... alter the designs of God's laws and nature.  A law against nature would be impossible to enforce.  For instance, what good would a vote against the law of gravity do?"
  And then; "Every soul confined in a prison of sin, guilt, or perversion has a key to the gate.  ... repentance. ...If you know how to use this key, the adversary cannot hold you."
  And his promise; "I promise that ahead of you is peace and happiness for you and your family.  The ultimate end of all activity in the Church is that a man and his wife and their children can be happy at home."

Trust in God, Then Go and Do - Henry B. Eyring

  Once again the words of this great man in his role as "prophet, seer and revelator" (ponder those three words well) has given us foundational counsel for this time.  First, he tells us how he approached this discourse.  He "prayed and pondered" to learn about us.  He reminded us that God knows us individually and therefore knows our needs.  Then as the word of the Lord came he says; "I am to build trust in God and His servants enough that we will go out and obey His counsel.  He wants that because He loves us and wants our happiness.  And He knows how a lack of trust in Him brings sadness."
  I would like to focus on the story he told that began; "That trust has blessed my life and the lives of my family."  The story that followed told how by following the counsel of President Ezra Taft Benson in the conference in 1980 he found a way to be totally out of debt including his mortgage.  What a great lesson in that story.  I recommend that all my family go back to that talk in the November, 1980 Ensign.  Don't argue in your mind about the principles there.  Just commit to follow it somehow.  The Lord will make it possible.  
  Of all the many mistakes I see in the stories of my life, that part regarding debt has been the most difficult for me to follow and in not following has brought the most heartache and distress.  That basic counsel regarding debt has been the same since the beginning of the Church.  I now know without doubt that it applies to all debt, including "business debt."  Now it comes again from President Eyring.
  The other two sub-topics we need to remember in humility.  Trust in God can bless communities and nations as well as families.  I believe with this talk he fulfilled his charge that resulted from his prayer and pondering.  Trust in God, Then Go and Do - now, not tomorrow.

The Three Rs of Choice - Thomas S. Monson

  The Three Rs:

1.   The right of choice.
2.   The responsibility of choice.
3.   The results of choice.

  The right to choose was the gift next only to life on earth given to us by God.  Our responsibility is to use the spirit we came with and the learning we obtain to make the correct choices.  The results are the promised blessings or consequences that follow.
  Once again in this talk we see the name of Brother Clayton M. Christensen mentioned as an example.  I have referred to him in other settings in the past.  In this case, an early choice regarding the observance of the Sabbath demonstrated well the three Rs.  The same kind of choice was made by the building contractor for the Costco companies who won a contract with them which had a short time commitment.  He told them he would meet the time requirement but would not cause his employees to work on Sunday.  He became the preferred contractor.  The three Rs once again demonstrated clearly.
  Our individual use of the three Rs will probably not be as public but the results will be the same to us.  When we focus on a decision based on the three Rs, and then notice the results, it would be good to record the "signature" of God in the results lest we forget this pattern when a blessing is received.  Ask and answer these questions regarding an important choice:

•   What was the choice and what principle or commandment was followed (or not followed)?
•   What was involved in the responsibility of that choice?
•   What result followed and did it show the signature of God?

  This makes for a great entry in your journal.

Serve with the Spirit - Henry B. Eyring

  The power of this presentation is like having eyes opened to knowledge we had but don't use well.  While given to the Priesthood, this talk was applicable in other settings also.  That challenge at the beginning is direct and unavoidable: "We have been called to use divine power to serve the children of our Heavenly Father.  How well we meet that obligation will have eternal consequences for those we are called to serve and for us and for generations yet unborn."
  Suggestions he gave:

•   "... never miss an opportunity to participate with all our hearts with all our hearts in the promise offered in every sacrament meeting ... to "take upon them the name of [God's] Son, and always remember him and keep his commandments which he has given them; that they may always have his Spirit to be with them.""
•   "... pray for the manifestations of the Holy Ghost to come to us in our service."
•   Ponder.  "But when we ponder, we invite revelation by the Spirit.  Pondering, to me, is the thinking and the praying I do after reading and studying in the scriptures carefully.
•   "... magnification of our power to serve will come as we respond with faith to go forward in our callings with the Holy Ghost to help us."
• President Monson:  "And how does one magnify a calling?  Simply by performing the service that pertains to it."
•   "I urge all of us, young and old, who are called to speak in a meeting in the name of the Lord to dismiss our feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy.  We don't have to use soaring language or convey deep insights.  Simple words of testimony will do.  The Spirit will give you the words for you to speak and will carry them down into the hearts of humble people who look for truth from God."
•   And from President George Q. Cannon;  "Whenever darkness fills our minds, we may know that we are not possessed of the Spirit of God. ... When we are filled with the Spirit of God we are filled with joy, with peace, and with happiness, no matter what our circumstances may be; for it is a spirit of cheerfulness and of happiness.  The Lord has given unto us the gift of the Holy Ghost.  It is our privilege to have that Holy Ghost reign within us, so that from morning till night and from night till morning we shall have the joy, the light and the revelation thereof."

  It was not in my power to use more effective words than these to summarize this talk than those above. We need to recognize the influence of the Spirit, give thanks when we feel and use it and always remember him in every decision and situation.

Pride and the Priesthood - Dieter F. Uchtdorf

  This wonderful talk full of counsel about pride left us all identified as the focus of the matter.  Without publicly exposing my own struggles with this precept, I will comment on other instances of experience and observation.  He put sports right there on the table for examination.  Church sports has been the lab case for many as they try to live the gospel while winning.  The desire to be number ONE for self or team has been the open sore for many.  Well I remember two very well thought of leaders of one stake who got into it on the floor of the "game."  It was so disrespectful and sad.  That stake president declared the ultimate sanction for them both.  They were banished from the floor of play.  I don't know if it was just a suspension or a lifetime prohibition, but both players soon moved out of the stake.  How sad.
  Another observation regards justice in our system.  I have heard from some about some great victory won in the courts and how well the legal representative prevailed.  Not much is said about the rightness or even justice of the outcome.
  On the other hand, when we ponder an event precipitated by "I am right and he, she or they are wrong" we must be quiet in our spirit and allow the Lord to mark for us the way to peace the road to which us almost always real humility.
  To quote; "Pride is the deadly cancer. ... This sin has many faces.  It leads some to revel in their own perceived self-worth, accomplishments, talents, wealth or position.  They count these blessings as evidence of being "chosen," "superior," or "more righteous" than others.  This is the sin of "Thank God I am more special than you."  At its core is the desire to be admired or envied.  It is the sin of self-glorification."
  "Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom." (Proverbs 13:10)
  Since this talk was given to the priesthood, it can be assumed that we are the group most guilty of the sin and in need of this wisdom and challenge.  Because priesthood callings sometimes put us in front of members of the wards and stakes, it must always be considered in light of the temptation to be prideful in this sense.
  Like brother Uchtdorf, I am "proud" of my family in every respect.  They exemplify to me the great hope of the eternal promises made to us as fathers, mothers, and seekers of truth.
  On this topic, there is an insightful article in Mormon Times, The Anatomy of a Real Apology that also referenced a book that might be helpful; "I Only Say This Because I Love You."  I have not yet read it but it is available on the Kindle.

Come unto Me with Full Purpose of Heart, and I Shall Heal You - Patrick Kearon

  This story of the scorpion sting was almost a perfect description of the sting Shirlyn received walking barefoot in the kitchen in the Rowel house.  Robby was a witness of the intense pain and suffering she went through.  She thought she was going to die.  It caused extreme pain to her and distress to us.
  This "full purpose of heart" is the instruction to us to avoid the spiritual pain that will be the consequence of our failure to soften our hearts towards others.  It is one of those teachings that cause me to search my heart in relation to the daily things that present themselves.  I loved President Faust's quote; "When obedience becomes our goal, it is no longer an irritation; instead of a stumbling block, it becomes a building block..."
  "... Obedience leads to true freedom.  The more we obey revealed truth, the more we become liberated."
  And the closing testimony; "Not one of you has thrown away your last chance.  You can change, you can come back, you can claim mercy.  Come unto the only One who can heal, and you will find peace."

Be Thou an Example of the Believers - Russell M. Nelson

  To the priesthood this speech let us know once again that we are all missionaries, whether it be full-time as Shirlyn and I find ourselves now or a member of a ward or branch. For the young men and women serving it is a time full of opportunity to actually feel the power of the Spirit while teaching.  I am impressed that we have the promise of the spirit with us when keeping the commandments, but my experience tells me that the witness of the Spirit is liberated in us when we are teaching the gospel principles.  During such times, the Spirit gives us power to teach and takes the witness to any seeker after truth on that occasion.
  The challenge in this talk included specifically, "Each Sunday extend a hand of fellowship to at least one person you did not know before.  Each day of your life, strive to enlarge your own circle of friendship."  This was followed by that great experience where he gave his copy of the Book of Mormon to a couple who were friends.  What a challenge he gave them after their "thanks a lot" was challenged as he knew they had not read it.
  Every day we meet people who fit that category of "there are many yet on the earth ... who are only kept from the truth because they know not where to find it."
  I was impressed by his short challenge regarding using our blogs and online social networks.  This blog is my first real hands-on experience with a blog and it is not so difficult to master.  This blog has a specific purpose and will be completed this month.  My next project using a blog will reach out to a broader group of our family members that will follow his recommendation here.